Season 8, episode 2: what you don’t know about astrology and sex with astrologist and author
NADINE JANE
Danielle Bezalel (she/her):
Nadine Jane, welcome to the podcast. How you doing today?
Nadine Jane (She/Her):
I'm good, thank you so much for having me.
Danielle Bezalel:
I'm fucking stoked, Nadine. There's alot, a lot that we're gonna be covering today. And I, you know, we don't have to, you know, play pretend. We kind of know each other.
Nadine:
We do.
Danielle Bezalel:
We're friends of friends that have admired each other from afar for quite a while. I'd love for us to maybe just say our first impressions of the other person, if that sounds fun, if you can remember. I'll start to give you some time. I remember I met our mutual friend as she went to grad school with me in New York. And I just remember her telling me about this really good friend that she had who was an amazing woman and also like was kind of a fucking baller when it came to astrology and when it came to like... I was checking out your social media and I knew that you were writing a book and there was just a lot that you were doing and I also thought you were very beautiful. So there was just like, from afar, I just very much was so intrigued by the work that you were doing, even though I'm very much a novice when it comes to astrology. So that's just what I wanna share with you about
Nadine:
I love that.
Danielle Bezalel:
my first impression of you.
Nadine:
Well, mine was a very intense first impression as well, which was that I heard about your work. I think it was one of your first rounds of merch. I think maybe literally the first round of merch you had ever done or something of that nature. I don't remember, but Holly had bought it. And by the way, this is our mutual friend.
Danielle Bezalel:
That's our mutual
Nadine:
And yes,
Danielle Bezalel:
Holly.
Nadine:
shout out Holly. And so I clicked on your page and my immediate first impression was how can someone make these topics feel so enjoyable and how can this person add humor to things that bring up can bring up so much shame for people. So I immediately texted Holly and I said, who is this person? Like, how do you know this person? And so yeah, my first impression was humor safety around things that are typically unsafe and lacking humor. So yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
that's so sweet. I'm so glad to know that we admire each other and are friends which is very fun.
Nadine:
for sure.
Danielle Bezalel:
But for those of you know you listening maybe you don't have a friend named holly and maybe you don't know
Nadine:
Yeah, so I’m a former graphic designer, astrology was not my first career. And I, like many people, was just big fanatic about astrology, read tons of books, tons of textbooks about it, and became kind of the in-house astrologer at the company that I was working for at the time. Long story short, very typical millennial created an Instagram account to educate people on astrology, maybe like you, in your field. And
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Nadine:
then it ended up turning into a job kind of slowly but surely. And so since 2017, I've been doing this professionally. And so the job of an astrologer is basically you do all of the cliche things, which is readings for clients, but then you also write horoscopes either for your own platform or for other people's platforms. And you, yeah, it's just a really cool job of basically being able to delve into people's lives really intimately without having ever known them before. So it's a very unique job.
Danielle Bezalel:
Absolutely, yeah. And was your company at the time kind of like this is a niche that we're looking to fill? And you were like, well, I'm interested in this. Like how did that start, I guess?
Nadine:
Oh, that's a good funny nuance. It was a joke that I was called the in-house astrologer. I was just a graphic designer. It was just because on Slack, because it was a startup, so it was all of these really young. By the way, it was female founded, so it was 95% women working there. So long story short, we were all very much into astrology. So as a joke, I was called the in-house astrologer because I would take all new employees out to lunch and read their charts. It was like an initiation process into the company.
Danielle Bezalel:
Okay but clearly you really loved it right like something connected for you and I wonder how that became something that you really gravitated towards no pun intended.
Nadine:
I think astrology people get really into myself included for the sole reason that sometimes, I mean not sometimes, all the time, life is inexplicable, hard to understand, incredibly confusing at times, incredibly exhausting and all those things. I think astrology is one of those really unique tools that makes you think maybe there is some reason behind why this thing is happening in my life, and maybe there is a higher plan, or maybe some cosmic genius that's making all this thing work the way that it's working. And so, like many people, I think I found relief in the practice. And then I think as a... people analyzer by nature, it was amazing to say, oh yeah, that was my read on someone and here's how the chart is maybe affirming that or maybe the charts helping me understand something that I might've been misperceiving about someone and I thought it was this
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Nadine:
thing and I know being another thing. So I think anyone who's interested in people would probably fall in love with astrology pretty easily.
Danielle Bezalel:
I love that. I think for myself, knowing I am such a person who really enjoys connecting with people, and I do think that it's very fun for me when people are getting to know me and they're really into astrology, and they're like, when's your birthday? Because
Nadine:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
I feel like they really want to know if their kind of assumptions and kind of awareness about certain astrological signs are matching up with what they think I am. And it's just
Nadine:
Yes,
Danielle Bezalel:
fun to be
Nadine:
yes,
Danielle Bezalel:
on the receiving end of that. But you know, I basically know nothing about astrology. And all I know is that I'm a Sagittarius who really likes to travel and adventure. I'm very determined, I have a really strong work ethic, and I'm very outgoing and extroverted, which I have heard are Sagittarius-like qualities. And that's. pretty much it, right? So we're really starting from zero here and folks who are listening, maybe you know what your sign is, maybe you're like me, but you don't really have a full grasp on astrology. And so this question is for us collectively. What is astrology and what is a birth chart? Let's start from the beginning.
Nadine:
That's a great question. So astrology is the study of where the planets were in the sky and how they were interacting with each other at any moment in time. And so a really fun fact I love to drop on people is the first astronomers were astrologers and vice versa. There was actually no difference. They were almost synonymous at the time. And because in the earliest days, it was just studying, looking at the sky and thinking like, what's happening? There wasn't a ton of There is there we have so much information now, which is an amazing piece. So astrology is on one component, astronomy. There is something that is scientific about it, which is where were the planets when you were born, period, end of story. We can agree on that. The piece that becomes some people would call a pseudoscience. Other people would call a belief system is that all these historic astrologers came up with meaning behind. What does it mean that Venus was in Scorpio when you were born? What does it mean that the sun was in Aquarius when you were born? What does it mean that all these constellations and planets were where they were at that exact moment in time? And so the birth chart, which I think is anyone should be anyone's gateway into geeking out about astrology. I think that's a really good place to land is the question of you were born at X time on X day in X part of the world. what were the planets doing? Where were they situated? Was the moon in the sky or was it not? Were you more the daytime, the nighttime? All those questions are incredibly interesting. And so the job of a birth chart is it says, what does all those interactions between those planets say about you as an individual? So to use you as an example, which I
Danielle Bezalel:
Please.
Nadine:
know we'll get into, is like, yeah, you're a Sagittarius. Is that interesting to me? A thousand percent that's interesting to me. However, If anyone knows anything about a birth chart, you being a Sagittarius is the very tip of the iceberg of what your chart says about you as a person. So that's why Sun sign astrology, which is the most popular form of astrology. Hey, what's your sign? Walk into a bar. Hey, what's your sign? That's why it gets such a bad reputation because it's terrible to be told. Hey, you're supposed to be wanderlusty and adventurous. And you're like, yeah, but also if you really got to know me, you would kind of know there's like a lot more nuance to me as an individual. So the
Danielle Bezalel:
right?
Nadine:
birth chart gives us all of those nuances of who a person is. So to name three big pieces that could get someone interested, the sun signs, one of them, that's the ego, that's the conscious self. Who am I when I am forming my idea of who I am as a person? But then there's the rising sign. which is your first impression. How do you, when you walk into a room, what kind of energy are you bringing? Some people are incredibly shy. Some people are incredibly outgoing. Some people are private. Some people are mysterious. Everyone has a different first impression. And it tells, so the rising sign tells a story of who did you have to become when you were in your family of origin? So. Maybe I'm adventurous naturally, but in my family of origin, it was better to, let's say, be conservative and safe. And so my rising sign is very different than my sun sign, for example. And then the last, the third big, it's called the big three in astrology. The third one is the moon. And the moon tells a story of your inner world. How do you nurture yourself? How do you treat yourself at the end of the day? If you were to parent yourself, what would that look like? And so
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Nadine:
that's the version of yourself that only maybe your long-term partner would get to know, or your very best childhood friends would get to know, your family might know about you. So very long way to way of saying, the birth chart has a crazy amount of nuance too, which is what makes me love it so much.
Danielle Bezalel:
That is really fascinating. Yeah. And I like that idea of saying like, okay, maybe, you know, the, the thing that people ask, like, what's your sign is a good entry point. But there are so many facets to us and so many ways that we can express our different selves. And maybe that's the way that all three kind of get at that.
Nadine:
Exactly. And also, if you think about it, the sun is one of many planets that are in the sky. And so that means that the sun is only one component of your personality.
Danielle Bezalel:
Fascinating. Okay. Now, maybe listeners are wondering, okay, what does this have to do with sex ed? Right? I think like, there may be in your mind listener, you might be kind of thinking of astrology and sex education or sexual health as two completely separate things. But I want to know Nadine, what does and what can astrology say about our sex and love lives?
Nadine:
So much, I mean too much in a way. I was just thinking before this podcast, I can geek out about anything astrology related, but I actually think this might be my favorite topic in astrology.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh, amazing.
Nadine:
But yeah, basically there's this planet called Mars and you can really open up any astrology app to find out what Mars planet placement you have in your birth chart. So long story short, get co-star, get something like that and go look up your Mars sign. But Mars basically dictates our sexual energy. It doesn't tell us anything literal. Remember, this is a spiritual practice. So inherently, we're not gonna be talking about hyper, hyper, hyper specific things. But Mars kind of dictates, what is my drive? How can I get in touch with this flame? For some of us, our flame is a bonfire. It's huge. We have massive sexual energy. For some of us, it's a tiny candle and we have to nurture it and we have to keep it alive, right? And so I think, Mars is a really interesting planet for understanding what are the ways in which I can awaken my sexuality? What are the things that put out my sexuality? What are the break versus the gas
Danielle Bezalel:
Mm.
Nadine:
analogy? So Mars really, when I'm talking about it with a client, let's say they come to me and they say, I'm having a really rough time in my sex life right now. Things are so stagnant or whatever the issue is. It's really interesting to consider how can we make... this specific Mars, the health, how can we give it an environment in which the Mars can thrive? And so I think one of the reasons why it's so interesting is, as I'm sure you know, and I'm sure you dive into this a lot in your work. In society, we're inundated with all of these binaries. We're inundated with all of these beliefs around what it means to show up in whatever specific way sexually. And I think astrology gives us a ton of room to be like, yeah, but this is what my garden looks like. And this is what this means to me. So yeah, I can go into great detail about it, but in general, Mars would be the planet we would look to to understand at least a component of someone's sex life.
Danielle Bezalel:
Very interesting. Yeah, I really liked how you said like, oh, the comparison between like this huge flame, maybe you need an extinguisher sometimes if you're feeling like overwhelming compared to this like little I'm picturing just this little hand candle that kind of you know, the little white ones with the silver outlines and you're like, Oh, don't don't go out please. And
Nadine:
exactly.
Danielle Bezalel:
something interesting that I'm thinking about while you're talking about this too. I'm so intrigued to think about like new, the way in which this might even be related to the ace spectrum, right? Like asexuality, where
Nadine:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
there's so, even with the ace spectrum, there's so many different examples and ways in which that fire, so to speak, could be up or out or in between. And I just think that that's a way to relate to everybody. And I just think that's really cool.
Nadine:
For sure. And also on that very note, different seasons of our sex life as well. You know what I mean? We might be like, well, when I was younger, I was in astrology. Since it maps over time, it can speak to, you know, this, in this season of your life, the flame is very small. And could you, could you be, maybe be at peace with that even better? Could you get somehow stoked on that and view that as a journey of life? So yeah, long story short, absolutely fundamentally and also. it begs the question of what season of life am I in as well?
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally fascinating.
Nadine:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
I'm wondering, you know, I'd love for everyone who's listening to feel like they can get a little bit of a tidbit about like who they are and maybe like learn about what kind of flame that they have according to Mars. So I guess the question I have for you is like, what's one thing that you want everyone to know about astrology and the way that it can impact different facets of folks, you know, like many lives, right? Like sensual, sexual, romantic. And then on top of that, is there like a one liner about each astrological sign that you have so folks can really start to get a sense of where they're at.
Nadine:
Yeah, 100%. So what I'd like people to know in general is maybe just the precursor to these one-liners, which is even as I go into them, just know that your chart is still much more nuanced than what I'm about to explain. So just know you can take a kernel of truth from what I'm about to describe and still know that you need to bring in your own lived experience into it. So just know I am painting with a super broad brush here. But yeah, in general, what I think astrology can give to you is just to feel like you can't have a custom relationship with your sexuality that's outside of any one doctrine of how you should have the quote unquote best sex of your life. It makes Cosmo Magazine seem like a complete joke to me at this point. But anyways, so I'm going to go through them one by one. And just know if you cannot find your Mars sign, this could be attributed, you could just view it through the lens of your sun sign. So I just want to invite everyone. depending on your level of knowledge about your chart to still feel like you can get something from this. So we're gonna begin with Mars and Aries. This is probably one of the biggest bonfires in astrology. So Mars rules Aries. They have a very symbiotic relationship with one another. And what this means is this is passion. This is someone where immediacy, newness, feeling like you're able to be dominant could be things that are incredibly attractive to you. Some of the ways that this can manifest is wanting to have your sexual experiences be quick and hot. So it doesn't
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Nadine:
necessarily need to be a multi-hour long session, but it just needs to be impactful. It needs to be efficient. It needs to be amazing. And then you need to go out the door into your next meeting, let's say. And then lastly about with Mars and Aries is... This feeling of it needs to potentially also be sporadic. So Aries is really about quick movements and intuition. So it can come at any time. It can be incredibly in the moment. That can be things that are very provocative to a Mars and Aries sign. It is what's called the most potent of the Mars signs. I just want those people to know there is potentially something inside of you where you can make this bonfire really large. Uh, next up is Mars and Taurus. And by great contrast, Mars and Taurus is the most slow. It's the most sensual. It is the most, um, kind of luxurious of the Mars sign. So this is to be very cliche and maybe hyper specific bubble bath, um, touching versus, uh, needing to be like extremely stimulated. So soft, gentle caresses things
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
that really just make you feel like you're very much in the moment. It can be textures that are really soft. So like considering again, it can sound cliche or a little bit too specific, but considering the texture of your bedding can be really important actually for Mars and Taurus, are my sheets soft? Do I like the comfort of what I'm wearing, all those things. So it's an incredibly sensual sign and slowness and stillness is important. So by contrast to Mars and Aries, like setting aside if you can afford to hours on end. would be amazing for a Mars
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh wow.
Nadine:
and Taurus because it's so slow. Do you have any thoughts or questions before I keep going?
Danielle Bezalel:
No, please, I'm like very enthralled.
Nadine:
Okay, Mars and Gemini rules the mind. And so this is very much something about mental play. The brain must be connected to the experience. So, you know, there's many schools of thought tantric sex would tell you, no, no, no, no, no, don't include the mind. It has to be meditative. It has to be whatever. And that's where I say, no, there's no one doctrine for sex that works for everyone. Mars and Gemini actually role play mental stimulation, all the, you know, talking dirty to each other, mental stimulation's incredibly important for Mars and Gemini. And another thing that's interesting about Mars and Gemini too is duality since it's symbolized by the twins. So your sex life can feel a little bit like, I've heard some clients describe it as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, where sometimes they're like a ferocious beast and then other times they just don't want it at all. And so what I've had be healing. conversations with clients is this idea of like, it's really normal that some weeks, some months, maybe even some years of your life, the door is completely closed.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Nadine:
And other seasons of your life, it's all over the place. So it's a very nonlinear Mars sign, whereas to go back to Mars and Aries and Mars and Taurus, there's more of a consistency to those Mars signs. So yeah, long story short, Mars and Gemini mental. And then... The exodus Mars and cancer you have, so do I. And so does our shared friend, which I thought
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh,
Nadine:
was
Danielle Bezalel:
oh wow,
Nadine:
kind of interesting.
Danielle Bezalel:
okay.
Nadine:
So probably something that was most surprised you, it surprises me. It might even surprise our friend Holly. Is that. Mars and cancer is the most self-protective of the Mars sign. So there's actually something very sensitive, very emotional about the experience, but our superpower is that we can make other people feel really safe in those sexual experiences because
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm
Nadine:
cancer is the most nurturing of the signs. I was thinking for your job, how I told you it was humor, but it was also made me feel safe when you were talking
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Nadine:
about it. That's actually kind of Mars and cancer. And so the thing we have to look out for is what are the environment? in which we actually feel safe, and then it can become provocative for us. Then the landscape is wide open, but if there's actually a lack of safety, Mars and Cancer can be incredibly shut down. It's symbolized by the crab. We crawl back into our shell and we're like, no, no, no, not open for business. So it is one of the, it's our first water sign that we're talking about with these MARA signs. So we are very potentially emotionally connected to our sex lives, which can make it very intense and amazing, and then also emotions are brought into it, which as we all know, can kind of complicate things to a certain extent.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow, okay.
Nadine:
And I went to say to you specifically. You have an interesting aspect in your birth chart, which is that your Venus, which we might have time, we're not sure to get into later, your Venus, which is your love life is in the opposite sign. So in your charts case, there's an interesting duality between feminine and masculinity, and that actually has nothing to do with gender and astrology. It's just energy. There's a
Danielle Bezalel:
Mm.
Nadine:
desire to be dominant potentially in your love life, meaning. I want to call the shots, I want to be in control. And yeah, at the same time, there's a desire to be feminine. There's a desire to be submissive potentially with your Mars planet. So there's a very interesting polarity in your chart, which if harnessed can be incredibly interesting and then on its worst day, it can feel like they're opposing, but they're actually not their compliments to one another.
Danielle Bezalel:
Fascinating. Thank you
Nadine:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
for sharing that.
Nadine:
Just curious before we move on, like do you identify at all with the need for safety in your sex life or any, are there emotionalities or anything that you connect to with in that?
Danielle Bezalel:
definitely do like while you're kind of talking through each of these I see like you know everyone I'm sure who's listening is like where am I in this right like how do I feel about these things
Nadine:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
and I think like I definitely for sure the safety piece like that is definitely like a really big priority in my sex life with myself and with my partner and just as you said in my work like I think once I really realized like the power of ongoing consent I have like intentionally let that go. I think
Nadine:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
that like, even though my partner and I have been together for six and a half years, right, like that's still as equally important to me. And so that definitely rings true to me for sure.
Nadine:
Yes, I love it. I meant to mention all this, but I just want to get all people's brains going.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah.
Nadine:
Different signs rule different body parts. And so
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
for cancer, it rules the breast. That was a big aha moment for me. By the way, this is regardless of sex, this is regardless of gender, this is regardless of how you identify. So men, women, trans folks, non-binary, doesn't matter. Everyone has nipples. And so just FYI, cancer rules the breast. And to go back to some of the ones we were going through before, um, Gemini rules the mind, which I, we already talked about. Taurus rules the throat. And so for some people it's kind of like, am I drinking wine during this experience? Am I drinking hot tea? Like considering how to nurture the throat and then for Aries, it rules the head. So thinking about the ways in which you can engage this upper part of your body could be interesting. So I just wanted to add in all these little factoids for people so they can kind of geek out about this themselves. But anyways, let's keep going because I don't want to take up too much of our time. So
Danielle Bezalel:
No, this
Nadine:
next
Danielle Bezalel:
is great!
Nadine:
Next up is Mars and Leo, which I love and admire. It's, um, I want to be seen. I want to be cherished. I want to be visible. I want someone when I take my clothes off, I want my partner to say, wow, you are beautiful. So words of affirmation, Leo rules like being visible. So that can be incredibly enticing for those people. Um, another thing about Mars and Leo is just creativity. So just considering how you could maybe make your sex life theatrical is a good
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh.
Nadine:
way to think about things. Um, Mars and Virgo, I also admire service and this goes both ways, but you know, one of those ideas of sex should always be equal. Don't speak for everyone. Some people don't want it to be equal. Some people just get off on being giving towards their partner. or they get off on their partner being totally giving towards them. And Virgo is very much interested in being a giver to a certain extent. Of course, we all want something in return to an extent, but they can really get off on the idea of being of service and there's a level of perfectionism to them. And so what that can manifest as is I want to be the best sexual partner you've ever had. And so that's,
Danielle Bezalel:
Ooh.
Nadine:
yeah, watch out for that. And then Mars and Libra is very different than that. It is obsessed with equality. And so really thinking about how we can both get off the key about how we can share this experience in equal way. By the way, I'm really talking about this, like it has to always be between two people, so just know it doesn't have to be so binary in that way,
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Nadine:
but Mars and Libra is a lot about figuring out how to be balanced in your sex life. And then it's really important to include romance for Mars in Libra. So it can't just feel sexual. There might have to be some romance attached to it. So. all those cliches of lighting candles or red roses on the table or something that can be attractive to Mars and Libra. Mars and Scorpio is probably the most in touch with the kink, the true desires of the sexual, of our deepest sexual nature. So it rules
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
taboos. It rules things that maybe societally are considered, quote unquote, shameful and they shouldn't be. So Mars and Scorpio can be a really healing person to engage with because they might say, what are you interested? Let's try it. Like, I won't make you feel, I won't kink shame you for whatever your interested in. So they can be very expansive in that way. They can also be very eye-opening to their partners by encouraging them to explore different things.
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
And then Mars and Sagittarius is, and you'll know this because of your sun sign. It just has to feel different. So the environment has to feel foreign. So for example, they might, their flame might be completely put out by being at home. It might just be one of those experiences where it's like in the bed is not going to be appealing to them. It might have to be in a hotel in a different country, or it might have to be at the very least down the road on a different place. So there has to be something spontaneous, different, new to it. Um, Mars and Capricorn is a lot about power dynamics. So considering, do I want to be dominant or submissive in this moment? It can probably err towards dominance just in case that resonates with people. It is most likely dominance would be your preferred state of being. But it's really interested in the idea of how can power plays with, of course, consent be
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Nadine:
sexy and how can that make me feel very alive? And... Mars in Aquarius is a lot about doing things that are unconventional. So whatever society is saying to do, Mars in Aquarius will say, it was very attractive to go do this other thing. So anything unique, anything one-off, anything unusual is going to be incredibly attractive for them. So thinking quote unquote outside of the box is very Mars in Aquarius. And then lastly is Mars in Pisces. dream world, dreamscape, how can I bring imagination into my sex life? So it's a
Danielle Bezalel:
Woo.
Nadine:
very creative side. It's also a water sign, so it has to be safe. It has to feel protected emotionally speaking, but it tends to want to live in the dream world. And so for some of those people, it goes beyond just role play. It has to be fantasy play with their partner, potentially transcending into a different dimension with them sexually. So that is
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Nadine:
all of the signs that we've gone through, yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow, very impressive. First
Nadine:
Hehehehe
Danielle Bezalel:
of all, it feels like you definitely like see I could just sense it by watching you like you see strengths in all of these like it's
Nadine:
for
Danielle Bezalel:
really,
Nadine:
sure.
Danielle Bezalel:
it's really about figuring out where someone's at. And what their what their what their what is it? Is it their sign in Mars? Is that how you say that?
Nadine:
Yeah, what time their Mars is in, sure, yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
what time their Mars is in and figuring out how to play to those strengths. And like you said, depends on the season, depends on the reason. There are all these different things that can be going on, but that is kind of powerful to know, oh, this thing about safety and security with me. That is helpful to kind of remember and know and feel really validated in that.
Nadine:
Yes, 100%.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah thank you so much I hope listener
Nadine:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
you got something out of that I know I definitely did and. Should we maybe briefly touch on Venus before maybe we did want to do a full birth chart reading for me or what's the best way we can go about that.
Nadine:
I think I won't go through Venus one by one, but I'll explain it and I'll attribute it to your chart, just so
Danielle Bezalel:
Great.
Nadine:
people have like a living example of it. But Venus by conch, or not even by contrast, they're very compatible planets, but Mars rules sexual energy and activity. It's potentially the quote unquote masculine part of our chart, but don't gender that. And then Venus is... our love life, how do we perceive romance, you know, the five love languages, whenever I always
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah.
Nadine:
tell the client after I explain your Venus sign, go take that test and see if it aligns and it always does. And so it's this idea of like, how do I like to experience my specific love life? And that can, for many of us, be so different than how we'd like to experience our sex life. So just knowing those are two different parts of the chart. There are some clients where they're in the same sign, which means we do want them to be similar, the way that we show up in bed and the way that we show up in our romantic lives. And so to use your chart, because you're an interesting case, you're opposites. The way that your chart experiences romance is in some ways counter to the way that you like to experience sex. So fetus and Capricorn, loyal, steady, and there is some level of masculinity to potentially how you
Danielle Bezalel:
And
Nadine:
navigate
Danielle Bezalel:
that's me,
Nadine:
your relationship.
Danielle Bezalel:
Venus in Capricorn.
Nadine:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
Okay.
Nadine:
And so there can be this experience for a chart. And again, your charts more nuanced than this. So I'm just pointing out a very specific piece of it, but there might be to some extent, some continuity to your love life where you're like, well, I'm loyal to this person. I'm devoted to them. And it's kind of a linear thing for me
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
to a certain extent. Whereas your Mars, which is your sex life is very spirotic. I always like to say Mars and cancer is like a cat, meaning like... our sexual energy isn't even just waxing and waning. It's like it can go away and disappear and come back and there's no rhyme or reason to it. Whereas
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
your love life is very steady. And so the way I would think about it in your charts case is like the love will sustain. It will always be a very linear thing potentially with how you show up for it. The sex life will be something that you can treat as organic and ever-changing, kind of like the tides and the moon. It's waxing and waning and all those things. So yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow, okay, this is very intriguing. Can I just speak to that for a second?
Nadine:
Please!
Danielle Bezalel:
Okay, because I've mentioned this and you know this, but I've been in the same monogamous relationship for six and a half years now. It very much feels healthy, steady, linear. We got engaged, we're going to get married. Of course, who knows what happens down the line, right? I think things are in flux when it comes to how challenging and easy quote unquote relationships can be, but like.
Nadine:
course.
Danielle Bezalel:
all for all intents and purposes, I really love my partner and I'm very happy to be with him. And so that really rings true for me. And then this point about like, Spirolac when it comes to like the, you know, the, the in the mood sometimes and not in the mood other times and hard to explain, like I, I definitely relate to that and I'm sure a lot of people do but I just think that like for me, especially having and I wonder what, you know, how like we talk about hormonal birth control when it comes to astrology,
Nadine:
Yessssssssss
Danielle Bezalel:
because I was on hormonal birth control for years and years and
Nadine:
me
Danielle Bezalel:
years
Nadine:
too.
Danielle Bezalel:
and felt this really, really dim, you know, even pain during sex because of the side effects that were happening and I was kind of like, oh, what's a bad thing? And I've been off of it for a couple of years now. And
Nadine:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
what a difference it makes in my ability to connect with my sex life, for myself, and with my partner, for my body, for when I want it, how to honor that when I don't. when I don't want it, how to honor that, really
Nadine:
Yep.
Danielle Bezalel:
recognizing how that feels in my body. And that is it, right? Of like, not this kind of dim straight line, but this kind of like picture, like you're looking at someone's audio, right? And it goes up and down and up and down. And it's just like very, very unique to like how I'm feeling, what's going on with me, all of the other factors in my life. And I just, I really associate with that.
Nadine:
Yes, 100%. It is such a, you and I won't be able to answer it, but you beg such a good question of what does hormonal birth control mean for Mars in the birth chart? Because again, similar experience to you, and by the way, of course hormonal birth control's an amazing option for
Danielle Bezalel:
Of course.
Nadine:
us. But yeah, there was a disconnection to this very, like I said, spirulic, and by the way, Mars and Cancer's ruled by the moon. So quite literally, think about how the moon. waxes and wanes, the tides come in and out and it's organic, it's natural, but it's not linear and we can't, it's not necessarily perfectly predictable. That's how our sex lives are and and yeah, it's a very long way to my thing. It's a very interesting question to be asking ourselves.
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally, yeah, and just really fascinating. I'm really into this, Nadine. Thank you so
Nadine:
laughs
Danielle Bezalel:
much for offering all of these really interesting things for me and so many people listening to reflect on.
Nadine:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
I wonder if there's one particular experience, because obviously you have clients, you work with people, and I wonder what is maybe a powerful story of reading someone else's birth chart or maybe your own and how that has impacted the love and sex life of that person.
Nadine:
I have two good examples that come to mind. So one is that 99% of my readings are with women or trans women, but every once in a while I get a man. And those actually been some of my most cis men have been some of my most powerful readings because, so I'll give this specific example. This person came into the reading. And they said, um, I'm really actually, no, sorry. They weren't, they didn't even feel safe enough to say this allowed to me. But what came out as I was describing a certain thing, their chart was going through, they said, could this be impacting my sex life? And I'm thinking a thousand percent. Yes, this could be impacting your sex life. And what the, and so what I was trying to describe in the chart is that his Mara sign was very feminine. And it was just, and what that means in astrology is, wants to be receptive, it wants to be passive even, it wants to be able to be held, to be experienced, it doesn't want to have to be in the action seat all the time. And what he was saying that was so difficult is he was in a long-term relationship with another woman where they both kind of played into these gendered roles where he felt like he was supposed to be the person who was. in quote, the dominant position in their, in their sexual relationships. So he found it incredibly eye opening to be like, oh, wow, that doesn't mean that there's something quote unquote wrong with me as a man. My Mara sign is beautiful. It just shows up in this quote unquote feminine way. And again, it's so easy to gender these things, but that's because of society. It's not because of the individual. It's not because there's something wrong with their chart. It literally was beautiful to say to him, no, no, your charts built this way. Like meaning. there's so much to be received and to be experienced if you're able to embrace this party chart. So that's one example. So I got an email from him like a year later being like, actually explaining that, I think it's to his wife, explaining that to my wife, allowed her to actually express the fact that she was desiring the equal opposite. And she felt like she wasn't allowed to ask for that either. But me being able to say that made us both be able to tap in this other side of ourselves. So that was one very concrete example.
Danielle Bezalel:
So nice.
Nadine:
But a more nuanced example, which I think might be more interesting for some people, is for some of us, our Mars, which is our planet of sexual energy, is in direct opposition or in conflict with our moon. And our moon rules, for some of us, parenthood, if we decide to go down that route. And for others of us, just how we parent ourselves or how we nurture ourselves and all those things. So for, I'll give this specific client example, this person was. considering motherhood, she wanted to potentially have kids, but her Mars and her moon were in opposition. And so I mentioned to her, you know, there's a possibility that your love life, and your, sorry, your sex life is going to be in conflict with your relationship with motherhood. Have you ever, is that one of your fears going into motherhood? This idea of like, where will this part of myself, quote unquote, go if I have to step into this nurturing role? And she talked about this huge, ancestral story of the women in her family having kids and losing their sexual desire, their sexual drive because the pull towards nurturing and motherhood was so intense
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Nadine:
that it almost negated this other part of their chart. And I was saying to her, it would not surprise me if a lot of the charts in the women in her family had similarities to them. And so what we, so you might be wondering, okay, well, what's the conclusion? And so when Amar is in opposition with the moon, it's just the idea of this part of yourself might need to be compartmentalized rather than negated,
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Nadine:
but of saying, in order to reconnect to this person, I might need to leave the home to do that. I might need to literally not be in contact with my kids that day when it's possible. I realize not for everyone that's a possibility. So again, considering resources and all of those things. But for her, it was this moment where she was like, for her it wasn't so much a conclusion, it was a relief around this idea of, yeah, my biggest fear, my biggest block towards mother is I'm worried I'm going to lose the sight of myself, and to how that echoed back in the chart made her feel like, okay, now I can go in with eyes wide open to this experience of considering, can I, quote unquote, have my cake and eat it too around these two topics? So those are the two examples I just thought were kind of interesting.
Danielle Bezalel:
the ancestral pieces kind of wild like this idea
Nadine:
Very.
Danielle Bezalel:
of like okay like clearly this has been a thing for like women in my family and past generations and that's a very real thing whether that be through astrology and or the ways in which that were taught you know we we are not blind we are very you know we're sponges as kids and we can tell when our parents are changing certain parts about themselves to kind of like. basically care for their kids, right? And like, it's very challenging, I imagine. I'm not a parent yet, I want to be, but I imagine that is very challenging to keep up who you are in all those facets as a parent. It's just things shift
Nadine:
100%.
Danielle Bezalel:
and change and it's exhausting.
Nadine:
Yeah, and not to get into a whole other topic, but just to pique people's curiosity, astrology says just as much potentially about your family lineage as it does just you as an individual. Because what's so interesting is like you, your mom gave birth to you at the moment that she did, that says something about her as well. And that says something potentially about a lot of the people in your family. So they can tell stories of the maternal line, the paternal line. And so yeah, if you ever want to geek out about ancestral subastrology, it can be a gateway towards doing that.
Danielle Bezalel:
That's so fascinating. Fascinating. Nadine, I'm so, so glad that you're here today to really
Nadine:
Me too.
Danielle Bezalel:
just, and I know this is just the very beginning, right? Like there's so, so much on this topic, but I'd really just love for you to share, like, you know, what's next for you? What does your chart say for, like, what's next for you? And like, where, you know, where can our listeners find and follow you? And I also just wanna make a really quick shout out. that you were recently featured on the Drew Barrymore Show and in her new magazine. And I saw that clip and was like, holy shit, that's so cool. I'm like, it's just very neat that your passion is, you know, being appreciated by other people. So I just want to shout you out for that.
Nadine:
It's very cool. I had the exact same reaction. I had the my feeling was I want the strawberry more so
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah,
Nadine:
like this is so cool.
Danielle Bezalel:
so cool. And your outfit was fucking sick, by the way. Check out
Nadine:
Thank
Danielle Bezalel:
the video.
Nadine:
you. Thank you. Yeah, so I think what my chart says about What's Next 3 and what I also just know is next for me is just I'm working on really creative stuff right now. I, for some reason, I'm very adversely reacting to social media, which is where I built my last business. So that's been a very interesting journey. I'm
Danielle Bezalel:
Fascinating.
Nadine:
sure a lot of content creators understand that it's a long story short. Yeah, so I think what's next for me is creative stuff, but where you can find me is, I don't, I'm not really active on it, but social media is a good hub for me. You can find me on Instagram, Nadine Jane underscore astrology. I have a book out called magic days, which you can find, I think anywhere. And, um, yeah, I, yeah. So I guess the answer is I just don't really know what's next. And I think that's kind of exactly what I am supposed to be working through right now.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yes, and I'm so lucky to know you and to just support you in whatever your next creative endeavors are. I'm very appreciative of your kindness and your openness and being willing to teach and just to kind of chat with me about this today.
Nadine:
Me
Danielle Bezalel:
And
Nadine:
too.
Danielle Bezalel:
I just want to say yeah, thank you so much for being on
Nadine:
Thank you so much, DB. It was such a blast. Seriously.