Season 8, Episode 3: Swingers vacations and fetishes with Come Curious Hosts
REED AMBER AND FLORENCE BARK
Danielle Bezalel (she/her):
Hello Reed and Florence, welcome to Sex Ed With DB. How are we doing today?
FLORENCE BARK (She/Her):
Yeah.
Reed Amber (she/her):
We've just done a great deep breath to ground and centre ourselves. After my mad
Danielle Bezalel:
We did.
Reed:
day, it's my evening, but it's both of your mornings today. So yeah, I needed the deep breath. So thank you for allowing us to do that.
Danielle Bezalel:
Of course. Anytime. I'm always, always happy to just take a second. I feel like nowadays, I don't do that enough.
Florence:
Hey!
Danielle Bezalel:
I'm just kind of like, okay, like gotta do this thing and then straight on, even when I'm like fucking in the bathroom,
Reed:
Absolutely not. Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
I'm like, okay, how quickly can I do this in order to get through to my next thing that I need to do?
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Yeah!
Florence:
Hahaha.
Danielle Bezalel:
It's like, how about you just sit on the toilet for a second? Like, do we ever just...
Reed:
That's exactly it. Like why, when peeing becomes a chore and you have to try and do it as quickly as possible,
Florence:
Right?
Danielle Bezalel:
Right, you're like, ugh, I'm tired of it.
Reed:
it's like, no. Like remember the times where you worked in an office and going for a shit was the time that you took your time and you're making money from somebody else and you're just sitting there like,
Danielle Bezalel:
Right, slowly.
Reed:
I'm gonna take my sweet ass time.
Florence:
Yeah, slow down.
Danielle Bezalel:
That's right.
Reed:
We don't do that for ourselves.
Danielle Bezalel:
We don't.
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah.
Reed:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you're finally... You get a moment with your phone, you're like,
Danielle Bezalel:
Fun times really, taking our time taking a shit.
Reed:
ah, okay, right.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right. Yeah, pretty cool that we used to do that. I mean, we should really just implement doing that for ourselves now.
Florence:
Oh yeah, that's so true.
Danielle Bezalel:
Maybe that's something we can check in on each other
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
I remember that when I was in the office.
Danielle Bezalel:
and say, okay, are we going to the bathroom a little slower?
Florence:
Fun times, yeah. Those toilets are like seconds, yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
You know, maybe that's our check-in
Reed:
Mmm, a nice like, a phone, toilet shit orgy, just take our time, breathe with it, enjoy.
Danielle Bezalel:
next time we say hello.
Florence:
Yeah!
Danielle Bezalel:
Exactly. Yeah, what a strange way we've gotten started here today, but I'm really happy that we have, you know, as I mentioned to you all before we started recording, I've been... fans of you both for a little while now. I've been checking out your Insta, checking out your podcast,
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
really love your content. It's very fun and a very relatable way to really feel like, oh, like this is what pleasure canon does look like. And I think it's very unique and very cool. So I'd love for
Reed:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
you both to introduce yourselves and just tell us about what you do in your work.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Florence:
Mm-hmm.
Reed:
Oh, we're doing that. Okay, yeah. I'm Reed and we both created nine years ago something
Danielle Bezalel:
Hahaha
Florence:
Gosh, it's such a hard thing to introduce yourself.
Reed:
called Come Curious, which started as a YouTube channel where we spoke about sex and sort
Florence:
I think when you do your podcast yourself, it's so hard actually explaining what you do.
Reed:
of transformed and matured into what we now have is a podcast called originally Fuck's Given but we're actually doing a rebrand and we're going to call it Come Curious. So yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh great, that makes sense.
Florence:
Mm.
Reed:
Yeah baby.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow, pretty cool. So that's coming up quick, coming up soon.
Reed:
Yeah, really soon. We're very, very excited. And I guess individually, I am more in the sex
Danielle Bezalel:
Cool.
Florence:
Oh, yeah, we're just gonna do a rebrand,
Reed:
worker space. I talk about kinks and fetishes because I have a fetish myself. And what do I
Florence:
which is very exciting. So maybe when this episode comes out, we will already be come curious the podcast as well.
Reed:
do? I don't know. Have sex for money. That's the first thing that came to my head. Kind of just an
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
all round online personality. And of course, yeah, we co founded Come Curious. I co-founded Come Florence, not we, co-founded.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think both grammatically make sense, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Reed:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then if we co-found, does that not mean that we get a quarter each?
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
We co-founded implies that somebody else co-founded it as well, rather than like,
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Reed:
I co-founded it and you co-founded it to make one whole.
Florence:
We co-founded. Yeah, I think that works. I think you can say we co-founded.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right, it's our morning, it's your evening, you're in a different zone literally and physically.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
A different realm, yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, okay let's, oh go ahead Florence, I would love to hear about you as well.
Reed:
Sorry Florence.
Florence:
It's too early for this conversation Reed. We're, you know, this is the morning. Oh, yeah. So as well as doing Come Curious and hosting the podcast, I also have my own podcast for a little bit called Love High, which was more about relationships, getting over heartbreak and all that kind of journey.
Reed:
Yay!
Danielle Bezalel:
It varies, yeah.
Florence:
It started out as the How to Heal a Heartbreak podcast. So there's been quite a lot of my work that has been about breakups and healing
Reed:
Yeah, it's gonna be so good.
Florence:
and that own like self journey into yourself again
Danielle Bezalel:
Cannot wait to read that.
Reed:
So together we yin and yang and create, we create sex educational shiat.
Florence:
after a relationship. But I've also just written a book that is coming out in May, May the 18th called This Book Will Make You Feel Something. And it's a mixture of erotic stories and masturbation tips.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, I'm really into that. That's great. Wow. A breakup podcast. I feel like that there's so
much that we can talk about within that. Was that like, I kind of read something on your YouTube, but can you confirm? Was it kind of like based in your own breakup? And then you kind of like
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
extrapolated to like, what else was going on for other people's breakups? Or like, what was the
Florence:
That's the drill.
Danielle Bezalel:
premise?
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Florence:
Yeah, yeah, basically the first like when it all started, it was me experiencing a bad heartbreak for the first time in my life. And I was like, wow, this hurts more than I ever thought
Danielle Bezalel:
Nice.
Reed:
Hmm
Florence:
like pain could be. So I, I started the how to heal a heartbreak podcast kind of to help myself on this like healing journey. So I spoke to like a sex therapist, like a spiritual healer, my mum came on the podcast.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, wow.
Florence:
Like all the people that are giving you like the good, good advice.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, I don't feel like we really, like our friends know that we're sad during a breakup,
Florence:
And then from then it kind of merged into Love High, which was talking more
Danielle Bezalel:
of course, because they're like,
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
oh, like I'm hearing you, like what can I do?
Florence:
about, you know, relationships in general and, you know, yeah, sort of more like
Danielle Bezalel:
But we don't really talk enough, I feel like, about how long that can take,
Florence:
wide topics around breakups that other people can kind of pick up and relate on
Danielle Bezalel:
like depending on the, like the,
Reed:
Yeah. And it can also be exhausting for everyone, you know, the person going through the breakup
Florence:
as well.
Danielle Bezalel:
for sure, yeah. And then even to the, yeah, go ahead. No, no, go ahead.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally.
Reed:
and then the people around them because that seems to be the only form of conversation. Of course, you need to have those moments. You have to have your friends back and be
Florence:
Oh yeah! Took me well over a year to get over that.
Reed:
sat there and listen to them and listen to all the stuff that you might agree with or disagree with. But that can also be exhausting. You need to put boundaries in to be like, I don't know if I have the bandwidth right now to listen, but I'll be there for you at the weekend or I'll be there for you tomorrow, you know.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right. Yeah, it's rough. It is tough for everyone involved. I mean, yeah, similar to kind of like any hard experience that a friend or family has where you're just kind of like, I want you to be feeling better, but sometimes it really just takes time. That's at least what I felt,
Reed:
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
is just kind of like time and figuring out other loves of your life, whether that be people or activities or things to kind of throw yourself into.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all about moving forward, isn't it? It's positive distraction. It's not
Florence:
Right?
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
distracting yourself, but it's also like feeling in the moment and working with it. I'm literally going through this breakup right now. I broke up in January. So it's such an uncomfortable feeling.
Florence:
Yes. Yeah.
Reed:
I don't want to fucking sit and cry for hours. Fuck you. Like I want to be able to...
Florence:
hobbies.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
go off and fuck people and have the time of my life and it just doesn't work out that way and it just sometimes it just hits you out of nowhere like a sledgehammer you're like oh shit the breakup feels no
Florence:
fresh fresh.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, totally, totally. Um, okay, so you kind of mentioned this a little bit before.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
You're the co-founders. You each co-founded, for example.
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
And I want to know, like, how did you two become friends? And, like, how did you kind of decide that Come Curious was something as a YouTube channel
Florence:
No.
Danielle Bezalel:
that you really wanted to do and that was your method of doing it?
Florence:
I know.
Reed:
Yeah, our origin stories.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah.
Florence:
Yeah, that's a good story actually. We, yeah, both in different ways, we were kind of involved in wanting to create porn.
Reed:
like television production and film. Yeah, yeah. And then I just loved porn. I knew there was a problem with it, but I loved all porn and I loved it being fucked up. And I was
Florence:
and wanted to be like this feminist porn director. I came out of doing like a fine art degree
Reed:
like, I just want to film fucking porn. I was like a proper lad of the situation. And
Florence:
who really like cinematic, beautiful porn.
Danielle Bezalel:
Hahaha
Florence:
And then Reed had a film production background.
Reed:
We ended up meeting each other on a porn set working in London. just sort of clicked instantly and we were, I was looking for a roommate and Florence was commuting
Florence:
Yeah. Ha ha ha.
Reed:
all the way from Brighton so it was like, do you want to live with me? And it kind of just
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
exploded from there. Yeah, it was so quick. Yeah, it was so, so quick.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh my god, from day one, you just felt it.
Florence:
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Reed:
Oh my days.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
It was shady as fuck.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh God.
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
Yeah, how weird is that? And it was such a dodgy little company as well. It was the
Reed:
Yeah. Yeah, silver lining.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah. Right.
Florence:
seediest, there was definitely some kind of weird brothel-esque money laundering situation. It was the worst place we could have met ever, but for some reason that was our origin story. And yeah.
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Florence:
Once I lived with Reed, we would just sit on our sofas every night, like in our dressing gowns. And all we would do was just talk about sex
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Florence:
and all the things that we had like hangups about,
Reed:
Yeah, I remember that conversation.
Florence:
whether that was like hairy nipples or discharge
Reed:
It was like, should we film it and put it on?
Danielle Bezalel:
Like a light bulb moment.
Florence:
or like the kinks that we wanted to try.
Reed:
And it was, this is before really anyone was talking about sex online.
Florence:
And we basically like normalized all these things
Reed:
So we were both like, oh no, like YouTube is,
Florence:
by talking about them. And kind of, I think,
Reed:
that's kind of weird, that's kind of lame.
Florence:
cause we both came from the film background,
Reed:
Let's try Vimeo. But we ended up sticking with,
Florence:
we're like, maybe we should.
Reed:
because YouTube just had such a huge audience
Florence:
film ourselves having these conversations.
Reed:
and it was growing then and ended up. putting these videos of just, you know, unfiltered, unedited of us just talking about sex and
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
trying, you know, we've learned so much since then looking back at our original videos are like, Ooh, I can't believe we fucking said that, Jesus. But, um, nine years ago, yeah.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
like nine years ago right? I mean things are very different and they shift and change.
Reed:
And of course, if you don't cringe, then you haven't grown as a person, you know, you haven't
Danielle Bezalel:
It's so real.
Reed:
learned how to do things differently. So Um, we just couldn't believe the feedback we were getting from these videos that we
Florence:
Oh cringe.
Reed:
were putting up and, and it, and we were just building followers and building comments and
Florence:
Yeah!
Reed:
the appreciation we got. And, um, the Tumblr of course. Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Ahem.
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but RIP Tumblr, that's dead to us now. So sad.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh yeah, I know it's rough. People really did and still kind of do like really love it, especially for porn and sexy stories and all of that.
Florence:
Yeah. And the Tumblr posts, we were massively on Tumblr as well with like doing the ask me thing
Reed:
Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, you can't ever I still get the odd email through being like, this has been
Florence:
and we'd answer like agony aunt style questions. That was like a big part of it at the beginning as well.
Reed:
removed from your Tumblr. I'm like, Oh, man, that's that's years ago. But it Yeah, we really
Danielle Bezalel:
Alright.
Florence:
haha
Reed:
noticed that we were helping people and we were like, Wow, we just have to do this. And of course, I think for the first first at least like maybe five to seven years, we just didn't earn any money
Florence:
Yeah!
Reed:
from it. It was it was something we did on the side. Yeah, weekends and evenings around our other jobs.
Florence:
Ha!
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Reed:
We gave up so much time for them and it was cool when we started getting sent free sex toys and, and like free, like bondage apparatus and stuff.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right. That's the beginning.
Reed:
But it, the beginning, like, until you realise that you can't fucking pay
Danielle Bezalel:
When you get sent stuff and you're like, oh my God, what's happening here?
Florence:
in the weekends.
Reed:
your bills with sex toys, you can try, but it never goes down well.
Danielle Bezalel:
Correct. Right.
Reed:
And we actually started creating a business and, and getting sponsorship
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
and saying this now, YouTube. AdSense, what's it called? The ad revenue is disgraceful. I think even though we were
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh.
Florence:
Yeah. Yeah.
Reed:
getting millions of views per video, we were still earning something mad like $60 a month.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Florence:
Mm.
Reed:
And that split between us both. It's insane. Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Really?
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Jeez.
Danielle Bezalel:
Shit.
Reed:
Wow. Yeah, yeah. Is it? Is it? It's fucking YouTube and it's sex content. They love to censor
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
That's so surprising!
Florence:
Yeah, I looked at our YouTube channel like overall views the other day and we have had over
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh, is it? Okay. Right, right, right. Of course.
Reed:
the shit out of us. It doesn't matter what we say or how educational it is, how many
Florence:
43 million views on our YouTube channel and we earn like maybe 90 dollars a month on it.
Reed:
people we help, they're still like, but no, this is bad. We need to get rid. We need to delete your videos and get rid of your thumbnails and like, yeah, hide all your content.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right, of course, of course. But I feel like I've seen TikTok videos, which like who knows if they're lying. I thought they were real. Of talking about how like YouTube
Florence:
Yeah...
Danielle Bezalel:
is one of the better platforms to gain ad dollars on, comparing all of them. Like comparing like Instagram and Facebook and all of them, but maybe it.
Reed:
That's probably true if you're not doing sex content.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right, of course. I'm definitely not a stranger to getting my content suppressed, deleted, my shit just completely rocked, shadow banned on every platform I've ever been on.
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
So totally feel you and it's very shitty. But the fact that you have such a big following on YouTube and you're still getting fucked in a bad way by the platform,
Reed:
Hehehe
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Oh my. And it's also really, it's really hypocritical because in the, in the very same, it was like a couple of months, we were nominated by YouTube as, um, it was like, like, what was it called?
Danielle Bezalel:
to not get the money you deserve...
Florence:
Mm-hmm. Sense it.
Reed:
It was like for, for international women's day or like, we were like the featured female creators at this YouTube event. And in the same month, our whole platform was demonetized. They just went, oh no, we're getting rid of. any type of monetization in the same month and you're like what the fuck is going on?
Danielle Bezalel:
What's that, dude?
Reed:
This makes no sense.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Yeah. 1
Danielle Bezalel:
So that, okay.
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Thankfully. Yeah.
Florence:
They took...
Danielle Bezalel:
Right, that's a New York Times article, if I've ever heard one. It's just kinda like, watch YouTube, like, you know, put me up on this pedestal and give me a fucking trophy,
Florence:
Yeah, they took us away as YouTube partners, which means that you can't get monetized.
Reed:
just rip me down. Yeah. Yeah. So we don't really bank on YouTube anymore. That's just
Danielle Bezalel:
and then in the same breath take away my money and my livelihood.
Florence:
But luckily we had the contacts through doing that International Women's Day thing and they
Danielle Bezalel:
It's just kinda like, okay, this is fucking bullshit.
Florence:
were like, oh my God, let's sort this out for you because that's not okay.
Danielle Bezalel:
Um, yeah. Right.
Reed:
the place to hold our videos. And it's the same really with Spotify and Apple podcasts. They're along the same vein. We get really no money from them. The only way we actually can keep this up is through sponsorship, but that's still really fucking difficult. Yeah,
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
sponsors. Same for me.
Florence:
Yeah. Yeah.
Reed:
it's, it's, it's. And especially right now, when we're going through this economic crisis, when there's
Danielle Bezalel:
Great.
Reed:
recessions going on, when everyone's still dealing with the COVID and lockdown, it's still really hard to actually get an income and what we deserve. And even just to stay afloat, it's just been, it's been a roller coaster.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
We're still doing it though. We're still kicking.
Danielle Bezalel:
You definitely are. I mean, you clearly have such a large and really loyal and dedicated following, and I feel like that's the ticket, right? Obviously, you need to have, same with me, sponsorships and ways to pay the rent, but if you have people who are going to support you,
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
be there, love your content through and through, that's it, right? As long as you have the audience who's really interested in what you're saying and you build that base that feels like kind of that Like it feels like you know, I really admire you for the work that you're doing and that's what you all have done And that's like a very hard thing to do and to maintain and keep up
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Thank you.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah Okay, speaking though of your YouTube I want to talk about a series that you all did I believe it was like four years ago or maybe even more but it Was about young swingers week and I want to know I want to know
Reed:
Oh, yes!
Danielle Bezalel:
all about this. I feel like especially in my like friend groups and like I feel like I turned 30 and everyone was like
Florence:
Yeah, thank you.
Danielle Bezalel:
Alright, are we fucking each other or what? Like I feel like I feel like everything
Reed:
Yeah!
Danielle Bezalel:
It's very much just kind of like the shell has been broken about like, okay Like let's open up our relationships and let's talk about this and let's you know And I feel like young swingers week like really fits into that idea And I wonder if you could tell me like what is that?
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
What did you do when you went there? Like tell me all about that experience?
Florence:
Yes!
Reed:
I mean, it was a magical 10 days of debauchery. It was so good. So we were lucky.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
Yeah, and things got tight between Florence and I. There were some moments where it was like,
Danielle Bezalel:
Amazing.
Florence:
Although, although I was not single at the time, I was in a monogamous relationship and
Reed:
oh shit, it's time to leave now. And being next door and having threesomes and Florence
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Florence:
could not fucking enjoy myself, but I like enjoyed myself through Reid's experiences
Reed:
is like hearing me have threesomes next door, like, sorry Florence.
Florence:
and a lot of solo sex in my hotel.
Danielle Bezalel:
Hahaha
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, of course. So this is called, the hotel is called Hedonism 2, and the actual week
Danielle Bezalel:
Amazing. Yeah.
Florence:
Yeah. So we were invited by the hotel to kind of come and vlog the whole experience,
Danielle Bezalel:
That's the name of the hotel?
Reed:
that we, yeah, the name of the hotel, and they have loads of different themed weeks,
Florence:
which was very cool because it's in Jamaica. And we're like, okay, like, yeah, we'll come to
Reed:
and then there are companies that rent out the place and sell their tickets and everything
Florence:
Jamaica to go to a sex hotel. We had no idea what to expect.
Reed:
like that. So we went on Young Swingers Week. It was just such an incredible experience. It wasn't just a nudist resort where it's completely acceptable to be naked everywhere
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
apart from in the restaurant. Really cool. And there's a part of the beach and a pool
Florence:
Mm-hmm.
Reed:
that you have to be naked if you wanna go hang out there.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh wow.
Reed:
The rest of the beach you don't have to be. But it wasn't just like a big fuck fest. There were classes, there were talks, there were...
Florence:
Which it... yeah, which was really cool.
Reed:
You know, on every night there were themed days. We did like we covered so much and did so much and before going, you know, we were both quite nervous. I like we're coming from all the way on the other side. We've got no idea really what to expect
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Okay.
Reed:
You know, what's it gonna be like naked with everyone kind of thing?
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
all at once.
Reed:
Hmm.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
Thanks for watching!
Florence:
Yeah, I hadn't been to a sex party before.
Reed:
Yes.
Florence:
So like this was the first time that I was kind of gonna see people fucking in front of me
Reed:
Mm-hmm. People sucking and fucking and fingering and like, we're like, are you seeing what
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Florence:
and like all of that stuff. And I remember I think it was like the first time we went onto the nudist beach.
Reed:
I'm seeing right now? It was, I think when you see people fucking, you think it's going
Florence:
We went like towards the bar and there was a full on orgy happening in the pool.
Reed:
to be really weird, but when you actually see it, you're like, oh, that's really cool.
Florence:
Just like there was like people sitting on the edge, someone going down on them,
Reed:
Like that's really normal. And it feels really like, like special and exciting. And it's
Florence:
like just like fucking up.
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally.
Florence:
We were like, whoa.
Reed:
not like gross or weird. You're just like, huh.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
fucking and I'm not freaking out wow yes yeah yeah yeah
Danielle Bezalel:
It's like a new thing has been unlocked. Something has happened.
Florence:
Yeah, yeah.
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
Yeah. Yeah, I think-
Reed:
It's because sex isn't weird. Sex in front, like, you know, we're animals, it's so baseline,
Florence:
Yes, I guess that was the whole like, when I, when I wanted to direct porn and I first saw people
Reed:
we should be able to fucking really in front of our friends, in front of anyone and not
Florence:
fucking in front of me, that was like the same reaction. It was like, why is this not weirder?
Reed:
be weird. But we've created this idea that it's gross or it's private, it's secretive,
Florence:
Like it should be weird, but it's, it's not like I'm just a viewer and I'm just sitting next to
Reed:
we can't see any of that. And it's like, that's really, it's really sad. One of the
Florence:
them and they're doing that. That's cool.
Reed:
best things was going to a sex party with one of my closest friends who I see as a brother.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
seeing him fuck his girlfriend and then being like, oh, I'll give them some space, but like,
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
I'm fucking cheering for you. And like, this isn't awkward and weird and like, go you.
Florence:
Private.
Reed:
You know, I mean, when we've been to sex parties before, it's a bit like that. So you should
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
be cheering for your friends, not being like, ew, gross. Okay then, nice work. Yeah. Yeah, or like even just like, shall I take the balls? Let's
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
You got this, you got this.
Florence:
yeah i remember walking out of a sex party room like think oh there's reed oh she's going down her
Reed:
go.
Danielle Bezalel:
No one's really touching the anus there.
Reed:
Yeah innit? Like I mean he, I need a rimming partner here like team up yo!
Danielle Bezalel:
Let me just get right back in there.
Florence:
boyfriend cool Just walk on by. Imagine if I came over and I passed you on the back like,
Reed:
Was that, wait was that, was that X or was that XX? Which X is that?
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh my god.
Florence:
Go on son, go on.
Reed:
Oh shit fair enough. He would love that I'm sure.
Florence:
Yes! Yeah, right, let me get in.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, wow.
Florence:
That would not be me.
Reed:
Hmm.
Florence:
That was X. Last one.
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
It started as a couple and then another person joined.
Florence:
Well, and then there was the time at hedonism
Reed:
Oh my god, yeah, the first action I got, I was like mad.
Florence:
when Reed was fully going into this threesome and I was like, okay, I'll come into the sex room too and I'll just sit on the side and I'll watch
Reed:
Oh, it's so sad.
Florence:
because I'm not allowed to do anything.
Danielle Bezalel:
Hahaha
Florence:
But Reed was like, there was three people. I think there was one person sucking each of your feet.
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
I mean, there's a lot of tension.
Reed:
I wouldn't mind if it was to the thought of me. Like, pleasure's pleasure, we all think about weird shit in the time, like, it's just the way it is.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Florence:
Yeah. And then you started moaning and stuff and I was like, time for me to go.
Danielle Bezalel:
Honestly? We really don't, obviously we don't talk about that.
Florence:
And I just was like, I'm gonna go, bye everyone. And went home to my room and masturbated.
Danielle Bezalel:
Like I feel like even, it's like more common for like
Reed:
Hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
cis women with their cis women friends to be like,
Florence:
Not to the thought of you, but like just the general horniness.
Danielle Bezalel:
oh, like, you know, whatever, sex in the city, classic bullshit. Where they're like, oh, was he good in bed?
Reed:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Like how big was his dick? Like all these things in the 90s that like we stereotype
Florence:
Ha ha ha!
Danielle Bezalel:
that we think that women are saying to each other.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
But even now I feel like in monogamous relationships, it's more rare for like me and my friends who are women really talk about it, because there is this kind of level of privacy.
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
If you've been with the same person for a really long time,
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
maybe there's nothing that you feel like you want to share that's maybe new.
Reed:
Hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
I don't know. I just feel like it's not... Friends don't really talk about that as much as it's depicted in media.
Reed:
Yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, apart from us. I mean, this is why we connected because we not only did we have less of a social barrier when it came to sex, but also we were so excited to learn more. And, you know, we like now we realize that the more something is uncomfortable to talk about, the more we should be talking about it, the more we should be pushing that boundary and that barrier. And
Danielle Bezalel:
Apart from you.
Florence:
Yeah. Apart from us.
Reed:
learning and like, de-shaming ourselves. Like, a lot of why we're so secretive around our
Florence:
Mm.
Reed:
friends is because we're afraid of being judged or we haven't accepted it ourselves. I mean, for how many years did I tell you every single fantasy, Florence, except I wouldn't talk to you about my tickle fetish? Because I hadn't accepted it fully myself and I couldn't get my head around it and I barely even spoken to my boyfriends about it and now I can't
Florence:
Mmm.
Reed:
fucking shut up about it.
Danielle Bezalel:
I want to hear about it. Can you tell me about it too?
Reed:
Um, so I have a tickle fetish. Yay. I feel like I'm at like AA like, hi, I'm Reed. I've
Danielle Bezalel:
Hi, Tickle Fetish.
Florence:
Yes.
Reed:
got a tickle fetish. A fetish is different to a kink. I think a lot of us have kinks, but not everyone has fetishes. Fetishes are more common in men because men's arousal is based on visuals, but women's arousal is based on mental stimulation. And, um,
Florence:
Yeah!
Reed:
I'm trying to cut this down quick. A fetish is something that is fundamental to your pleasure. Most people with a fetish cannot achieve an orgasm without thinking or doing that thing. So you can't control what fetish you have, you can't control what other people's fetishes are. It normally happens from a situation or a circumstance when you're younger that becomes an obsession and then turns into something sexual. So yeah. I have a tickle fetish. I also, I can't figure out if it's a fetish or not, or if just like an extremely strong kink bondage. And I'm also really into CNC, which is consensual, non-consensual play, but that all fits very neatly into my tickle fetish. And I'm actually hosting my tickle fetish party this Saturday. So I'm very excited.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh my gosh, exciting! I'm assuming that's in the UK or is that international?
Reed:
Yeah, that's in London. If anyone's going to be in London and wants to come along, find me on FetLife where I normally post the events and everyone is vetted to make sure everybody's safe and like, you know, security questions. Security? No, I mean like safety questions. And it's just, yeah, it's just like-minded tickle fetishes meeting each other because when you have a fetish, there is so much shame and embarrassment around it and you genuinely think you're the only one. You're just like, I can't even imagine other people feeling the same way. until you learn to accept it within yourself,
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah.
Reed:
you're always gonna feel weird or strange. Putting it on my dating profile changed my whole life, not just my sex life, but changed my whole life. And I'm just so much happier accepting that part of me.
Danielle Bezalel:
Ugh. That's so wonderful. And also, I don't know if either of you have read the book, A Rousing History of Sex by Rachel Feldman. If you haven't, highly recommend it.
Reed:
Mmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
She uses history and science to just talk about all of these aspects of sex and sexual health. And some of them are really funny and silly and weird,
Reed:
That's cool.
Florence:
Yay.
Danielle Bezalel:
and some of them are just true and just good to know. And she has a whole chapter in there on Kingston fetishes. And of course, as a sex educator,
Reed:
Hmm
Florence:
Okay.
Danielle Bezalel:
this, but when I read it, it's so much better to read when she says, some, if you think that you're weird and you're the only one that has had that kink fetish kind of preference, someone else has thought of that already. Like someone else.
Reed:
Yeah, someone else has thought of it, done it, filmed it, like, like everything.
Florence:
Mmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
fucked it, reverse fucked it, like it's been done and it's been stranger or weirder or
Reed:
Yes. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
more different than you even think.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
And so like, just know like exactly what you said, Reed, like someone else and probably multiple and maybe like thousands and millions question mark of other people feel the things
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
that you're feeling and thinking. And even if they're not as common, who cares?
Florence:
Yes.
Reed:
Yeah, I mean think about the film Crash. There is a literal film about people getting turned on by car crashes. And if it is in the mainstream, like there is just so much there. About car crashes as well, it's so fucked but it's so beautiful and exciting. It's really good. I mean, I didn't appreciate it when I saw it when I was younger because I was expecting like people fucking cars.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
But once you get over that and you watch the actual film itself, you're like, wow, this is actually cool.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow, okay. Something that I kind of am curious to get y'all's take on, I wonder how often you talk about this, but I feel like both of you from your content and from your podcast and everything that I've seen, right? There's this like self-awareness and this comfort that you both kind of imbue in your own skin and your bodies. And there's like this amazing tangible confidence,
Reed:
Mmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
like it's palpable. can feel it coming through the screen when I'm looking at your stuff and it is
Reed:
Ah, that's lovely.
Danielle Bezalel:
it's true and I wonder like if you could each share something whether it be about
Reed:
Thank you.
Danielle Bezalel:
you know gender identity sex partnerships anything that you feel like you're still figuring out and still kind of needing to do some work on yeah
Reed:
Mmm, wow. The deepness, the deepness. Mm-hmm.
Florence:
Yeah. Oh gosh, yeah, there's so much. I feel like there's so much, there's always new learnings.
Reed:
Yes!
Florence:
And as much as I like someone exudes confidence and stuff through the screen,
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Florence:
like yes, there are things that I have become super confident about, but then there's also so much more that I'm still picking apart.
Danielle Bezalel:
Thank you.
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
And I think even when it comes to body image, I still have days where I'm like,
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
ah, like why are my thighs bigger than they were like a few months ago?
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
I'll look back at, the worst thing is looking back at old photos of yourself and thinking that you looked more attractive, like even just a month ago. And it's like, why am I, like, why do I feel that way about myself? It's literally me. I'm literally thinking, wow, you look so good back then, but I feel so shit right now. So like even, I even have those moments still, but I would say for me, definitely to do with my sexuality. Like I'm just coming very, I'm trying to become more. comfortable with my sexuality being bisexual. I've been very straight-facing most my life and
Reed:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Florence:
it's only just now that I'm finding the kind of confidence to be like no I am bi and I would actually quite like a
Danielle Bezalel:
intimidating.
Reed:
Easy. We know how to flirt, we know how to date, we know how to fuck. When it comes to
Florence:
relationship with a woman and like I want to be sexual with women and it's something that really turns me on and feels exciting
Reed:
women it's like you feel like a teenager again. You've got no idea. Yeah. Sorry, I'm just putting
Florence:
But I'm shit scared of it. I find women terrifying I'm like
Reed:
my mind down because I think my levels are peaking. Yeah, sorry.
Florence:
Men are so easy.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh, it's all good.
Florence:
Men are so fucking easy.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, that's really real. I think I have a theory, and then Reid, I really wanna hear yours as well,
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
but I have a theory about, especially people who...
Florence:
I'm trembling in my boots.
Danielle Bezalel:
you know, are open and like are especially in this work that like sexuality is going to shift like every couple years.
Florence:
Yeah. Yeah, so that.
Danielle Bezalel:
Like as there are like new understandings of like who we are and what that means and how we do or do not want to use a label to identify that,
Reed:
Yesssss. Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
like whether or not the label is there, like I think the way in which we view ourselves is constantly changing and also changes slowly over time.
Reed:
Mm, yeah. And we have to accept that. We have to be okay with the change and just let it
Florence:
Yes. Yeah.
Reed:
come. I felt, what's it called? Like, yeah, fuck, what's the name when you're not feeling like I'm pansexual? I know I'm pansexual, but today I felt like a, like I let, yeah, I got the imposter syndrome today. I felt like I let the pansexual team down today because
Danielle Bezalel:
Mm.
Florence:
All the time. Yeah.
Reed:
there was a girl, she was, she was there, like she's hit on me a couple of times. And when I told her that I had a date tonight, she's like, oh, guy or girl. And I was like, oh, a guy. Like, I'm just really looking for some good fucking dick
Florence:
Imposter Syndrome.
Reed:
at the moment. And I got this feeling from her that she was disappointed. I, oh, okay.
Danielle Bezalel:
Hmm.
Reed:
Well, have a good day. And then I was like, but no, I do wanna fuck women. I do fancy women. I fall in love with women. It was like in my head, I was like, but I promised you I'm pansexual. And I had that moment of like, whoa,
Danielle Bezalel:
Mmm.
Reed:
it's okay to really want dick right now, but it's okay. You don't have to prove it to anyone. You could go through
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally.
Reed:
your whole life only wanting dick and still being bisexual or pansexual or curious. It
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
doesn't have to be, you have to prove it. You have to have the evidence there.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm. Yeah.
Florence:
No.
Reed:
Yes! It's not enough. It's never enough. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Or you're just greedy, you know? Mm-hmm. Yup.
Florence:
Yeah, it's I think being bisexual is one of the hardest sexualities in a way, because you're just like, you feel constantly judged by both sides of the coin. And you're like, yeah, exactly. You're like, I'm not gay enough, or I'm not straight enough. And like, where does that go? Or you're sexualized by all the men that you ever date. And they're like, well, if I fuck you, we're gonna have threesomes and we're gonna do this. Like that's happened to me so much recently. And I'm like,
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
Ugh, I'm sorry, that's shitty.
Reed:
Yeah. just not what I want right now man. I think I'm trying to figure out at the moment where
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah.
Reed:
I stand with sex and what I'm using sex for. Definitely after a breakup I've gone through that big like fuck everything, that goddamn moves phase and still cry afterwards. And I'm really
Florence:
I don't know, like...
Danielle Bezalel:
Right?
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
learning how to feel comfortable on my own. I'm really struggling with that. I had a really good therapy session today. And I think a lot like it's just trying to get comfortable, like sit in the uncomfortability and get comfortable with the idea of going on a date and going home alone at the end of the night and not continuing and not over drinking or over drugging to kind of hide mask all of that feeling and actually just be comfortable on my own. I mean, you never stop learning. As much as we exceed that confidence, I'm still at home alone going like, I don't want to be alone. Like I... I love myself, but what? I don't like my own company? You know, that's a real head fuck. I really struggle with that. I always have done. So yeah, doing a lot of work on myself to feel comfortable on my own. And I still fuck up and I'm still obsessed with dating apps and I still want to book in like dates in every night of the week to feel less lonely, you know?
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally.
Reed:
And so I just need to take a fucking breather and just. start to enjoy, look forward to going home alone at the end of an evening and not have to fill it with like vapid fucks.
Florence:
I'm sorry.
Danielle Bezalel:
That's totally fair. I mean, I think like an interesting thing, just so I'm not just putting you two on the spot and I can share something as well.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm-hmm. Yay!
Danielle Bezalel:
So I live with my fiance. We've been together for about six and a half years. And we, for most of the time that we've lived together,
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
have just lived in a one bedroom apartment. Like we lived together in San Francisco and then in Brooklyn and then in Oakland. And we recently moved into a co-op.
Reed:
Mmm.
Florence:
Yes, please.
Danielle Bezalel:
And it's really interesting because, like, we live in our own one-bedroom apartment that's on the property of this co-op,
Reed:
Ooooooo!
Danielle Bezalel:
but we see, like, 15 different people every day.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
And it's really fascinating, like, Reed, you're talking about, like, okay, like, you know, what does that look like for me to be, you know, going on a date,
Reed:
Wow.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
but then, like, going home alone and, like, not being, like, not okay with that, like, just living with that and just being fine with my own company.
Reed:
Yes.
Danielle Bezalel:
And I think, like, there are a lot of, like, monogamous couples here, shit, like living here for the past couple months has really shifted the idea of like what aloneness really looks like and like when we can just be like in the company of like a couple other people
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
it does feel like a lot less lonely and it just really makes life like a lot richer and it's just really like broke
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
like speaking of like breaking open the shell, you know, like before like it really has broken open the idea of like well when you're a monogamous couple and you get married then you just go in your fucking
Reed:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
and you buy it and then you just fuck off for the rest of your life and then you have kids
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
and then you die eventually in this just little box
Florence:
Yeah...
Reed:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
and it's kind of like, yeah, I maybe still want that eventually. And that doesn't have to look like that, of course, but it is a very like interesting thing and it adds a lot of dynamics to our relationship
Reed:
Hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
and it's really cool to see.
Reed:
This is why I befriended all of my neighbours. I was like, I have to be best friends with them all in case I'm scared and alone.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right? Right?
Reed:
They actually helped me out this morning because I got locked out always the way. But you can still feel excruciatingly lonely, surrounded by people.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right. That's totally true.
Reed:
You know, you can still, you can still feel lonely with your partner that you live with.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yes.
Reed:
It can feel really isolating. You can be in a room, like a party with all of your best people and still feel lonely. And my therapist was saying that's because your needs aren't being met somewhere.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
So you need to figure out what those needs are and not wait for them to come to you, work with them and get them yourself.
Florence:
Mmm.
Reed:
Find them somewhere, you know, ask your partner for the thing that you need, make more friends or the friends that you have, ask them for cuddles. Florence and I've been learning. I mean, we live in two different countries at the moment, so it's hard. But when I came to visit, we were like, let's Let's learn to actually cuddle each other.
Danielle Bezalel:
That's so sweet.
Reed:
And, and for, for, for both of us and for a lot of platonic friends, that's really hard to do. It feels really weird and uncomfortable and awkward. And we only ever really are tactile with our romantic or sexual relationships.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Cause that's easy. Yes!
Florence:
Yeah...
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Florence:
Mmm. Yeah, I felt like all touch was kind of sexual in some way because I have such like a high
Reed:
Yes!
Florence:
accelerator when it comes to being turned on. So like touch can just like instantly, you know,
Danielle Bezalel:
I don't want these feelings. Yeah, totally.
Reed:
And also, sorry, and also we both Florence and I recognise and I'm sure a lot of people
Florence:
feel a bit horny to me. So which also meant that when friends and stuff touched me that was like,
Reed:
will relate to this, thinking about seeing their parents and what their touch looked
Danielle Bezalel:
Thank you.
Florence:
oh, I don't want to feel this way about you might be even a bit of like the bi imposter syndrome,
Reed:
like. If they ever touched at all, if they ever hugged, if they ever kissed, if you ever
Florence:
like, ah, like, no, we can't be attracted to women. But
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
knew that they were intimate, both Florence and I, our parents, I don't even remember my parents being in the same room as each other, especially if your parents are separated or like even just like a handhold.
Danielle Bezalel:
I was gonna say, are they together or are they divorced?
Reed:
they separated when, yeah, yours are divorced, right? Yours are divorced, mine were never married, they were separated when I was eight. And I think that plays a lot of why we are the way that we are now when it comes to touch and relationships. Both Florence and I tend
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
to have codependency issues when we get in a relationship. Yeah, you know what it's like. A lot of it is doing the deep dive into, well, what was our first memory of intimacy? Did we ever grow up around people that were intimate with each other? And if not, how can we change that now? We can't change the past.
Florence:
Thank you for watching.
Reed:
How can we learn to do better now? So what Florence and I are doing is can I have a cuddle?
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Can we really push ourselves to have a proper cuddle? And it was amazing when we cuddled. It was difficult. But afterwards, oh, my God, I was like, I've just I've just had all my needs met and more.
Florence:
Mmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yeah, I'm so into that.
Reed:
Yeah, it was good. some good shit.
Danielle Bezalel:
I feel like when I was in like middle school and high school, me and my girlfriends, we would give each other the chills and we would just like touch each other
Florence:
Bye.
Reed:
Yes!
Danielle Bezalel:
and give each other little chills. We would literally like take our shirts off.
Florence:
It was so nice.
Danielle Bezalel:
It was not sexual at all. It was just like, just give me the chills on my back
Reed:
Yeah. Oh.
Danielle Bezalel:
and give me a massage.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
And it was just like, we don't really do that as much. Or like give me head scratches or whatever.
Reed:
Δεν αρέσει αυτό.
Danielle Bezalel:
Like we used to do that so much. Yeah.
Reed:
Yes, yeah, the hair playing or like doing each other's nails or makeup or something that's
Danielle Bezalel:
It's... platonic and intimate.
Reed:
extremely intimate. I mean, this is quite gendered because we're talking about girls, it's even
Florence:
Ha ha.
Reed:
harder for dudes, you know, like there's not a hell of a lot of stuff that dudes can do. That's
Florence:
So lovely.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
that's socially acceptable apart from what like sports. That's that's kind of like contact sports.
Florence:
Yeah, even just playing with each other's hair, right?
Danielle Bezalel:
Right.
Reed:
They're like, yeah, man, like, you broke your leg. Wow, I got my needs met.
Danielle Bezalel:
Right? Right.
Reed:
Yeah, yeah, or football, football. They just love that shit, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh my God.
Reed:
But there's gotta be more stuff that guys can do as well.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Not just, yeah, you wanna watch the game and drink alcohol and like, yeah, get fucked up.
Florence:
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's why loads of guys do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
Reed:
Which is still very bonding, not shitting on that at all,
Florence:
Like, they just love rolling around on the floor together!
Reed:
but there has gotta be more that you can do. You know, go to a fucking spa together.
Florence:
Like, it's basically like a cuddle!
Reed:
Like, go and get massages together.
Danielle Bezalel:
Mm.
Reed:
It doesn't have to be. super mask for it to be acceptable.
Danielle Bezalel:
So, bye.
Reed:
Mmm.
Florence:
Yeah. Yeah. I f-
Reed:
Oh, that's so nice.
Florence:
Yeah... Things are changing though, right? In the British Love Island that just came out, all the guys that were on it were like in cuddle puddles, like all the time and they were just so close to each other.
Danielle Bezalel:
Totally. Yeah.
Reed:
Yes, okay.
Florence:
And I was like, this is so lovely to see.
Danielle Bezalel:
It is special and it is important to recognize like when that's happening in mainstream media
Florence:
And they just like, I don't know, they were just being so playful. It's like you hardly see men interacting
Danielle Bezalel:
because it's kind of like how many people are seeing this, what kinds of messages are they receiving,
Florence:
with other men like that, but seeing it on TV
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
and how are they internalizing this and kind of putting that out into the world.
Florence:
and for all the types of people that watch Love Island,
Reed:
Mmm.
Danielle Bezalel:
But, Reid and Florence, we're at our last question of the day.
Florence:
I'm like, those are the people that need to see this. So it was fucking amazing.
Danielle Bezalel:
I'm so appreciative of you both coming on. It's such a pleasure to meet both of you and to just chat and I really have enjoyed having you. But I wonder if you can just share what's next for you.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
Maybe Florence, tell us a little bit more about- your book and kind of where people can find it and where can listeners find and follow both of you.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
Mm hmm.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
You just get it from that.
Florence:
Yeah, so my book is out really, really soon in May. It's going to be available,
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh nice.
Florence:
well, it's definitely available in the UK from May. And you can also buy the ebook and the audio
Danielle Bezalel:
Cool.
Florence:
book in America, or you can go onto the UK Amazon and buy the actual book and they'll just ship it
Reed:
Nice.
Florence:
over. Yeah, that's the trick. But it's also going to be sold in four different languages, in
Danielle Bezalel:
I can't even imagine it. It's very cool.
Florence:
Portuguese, French, Spanish. and Dutch. So that's really cool. I'm so happy that it's crazy having your own words translated
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Florence:
into a different language. That's wild. But the book I'm super excited about is my debut book.
Reed:
Yeah.
Florence:
And it's also like the first time that I've written erotic fiction. So there's 25 short erotic stories in there. And there's something for everyone. Like there's some kinky bits, there's sex parties. There's also just like romantic ones. One of my favorite one is like the cowboy and the bandit story, which is like a woman bandit
Reed:
Haha
Florence:
like taking control of the sheriff. And like, I'm like, yeah, into that. And then there's some like vampire and demon kind of stories, which we all love. I think one of the publishers was just like the demon story is like the favorite in the office for some reason. But. What's really exciting about this book is that not only am I turning you on with all these stories, is that I'm actually giving you the tools at the same time.
Reed:
Mm-hmm.
Florence:
So there's 25 tips around all these stories to help you masturbate better, to have solo sex, to really like love your body, reconnect with your body. Because I think that in a lot of our lives, there's moments where we disconnect from our bodies. and we don't feel the same thing again.
Reed:
Yep, baby.
Danielle Bezalel:
care.
Florence:
So it's all about learning about your autonomy, about how you can feel more pleasure, sex toys, lubes, all the tips that we have learned over the years
Danielle Bezalel:
And will you say the title one more time?
Florence:
I've put into this book. So I'm just really excited that people are gonna get horny and learn to love their bodies again through my book.
Danielle Bezalel:
Amazing, amazing, and how about you, Reed?
Reed:
Hehehehe
Florence:
So yeah, and it's available on Amazon
Reed:
Um, so, me, what's going on with me?
Florence:
and all the kind of book websites, Waterstones in the UK.
Reed:
I mean, I'm still doing the grind. I have just started my in-person foot worship meets again.
Florence:
This book will make you feel something and my name is Florence Bach if you want to check that out as well.
Reed:
So, doing the sex work thing. I'm putting more effort into my OnlyFans account. I post on two separate OnlyFans account twice a week for each. I have a foot fetish OnlyFans account as well. but obviously sign up to both of them because they're both amazing and if anyone's listening to this and wants a domination session, a tickle session or a foot worship... oh shit, am I allowed to solicit? I think this is technically illegal soliciting.
Danielle Bezalel:
Is it?
Reed:
Wow, I'm gonna go for it anyway, fuck it, come get me bro! Wait no, because it's not sex. It's not sex so it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Florence:
hot stuff.
Danielle Bezalel:
No, yeah, it's just, it's foot stuff, so.
Reed:
Oh my God, the laws in the UK are so confusing. It's like, yeah, you can have sex and money,
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Reed:
but no, you can't ask and advertise and tell anyone about it. What the fuck is going on? Anyway, so yeah, foot worship sessions, tickle sessions
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow.
Reed:
and dominating sessions. Fly me all over the world, I'll come there.
Florence:
I have no idea.
Reed:
I've got my tickle parties going on and there's something else that's exciting. I can't remember what it is, but please follow me on Instagram. at Reed Amber X. I'm actually Reed Amber X on OnlyFans and everywhere, but there's a link in my bio to everything. And of course, our podcast. Our podcast is just about to
Danielle Bezalel:
amazing.
Reed:
go through a whole rebrand. Yeah, our gorgeous baby. We post episodes every single Thursday.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yay!
Reed:
And yeah, yeah, you can find out more. Yes. Yeah, you can see what my life was like in
Florence:
everywhere.
Danielle Bezalel:
Yes.
Florence:
Yeah.
Reed:
LA when I came to visit and where. We've got a lot of vlogs. Yeah, we went and did, we did a whole reiki healing session
Florence:
Oh baby!
Reed:
and I'm a massive skeptic.
Danielle Bezalel:
Oh wow.
Reed:
So the whole thing is there, me being like,
Florence:
And we also have vlogs and stuff on YouTube, so they're fun to check out.
Reed:
what the fuck is this bullshit? And then Florence is like, this is amazing. It's some good shit, some good shit.
Danielle Bezalel:
Wow, I cannot wait to see that. Incredible. Incredible. Thank you both so much for being on. It was so nice to meet
Reed:
Hehehehe
Florence:
Yeah, that was fun.
Reed:
Yeah, baby.
Florence:
Yeah.
Danielle Bezalel:
you and chat with you.
Reed:
Thank you, I keep doing the good good girl
Florence:
Yeah, so you can find us everywhere at comcurious at C-O-M-E, you dirty, dirty fuckers. On everything, all platforms. Thank you for having us. You're incredible.